Translating the Planet

Dalai Lama Silly Season

2010-02-22T09:22:00.000-08:00

Porky Pig TranslationFebruary 18, 2010Dalai Lama greets press after Obama meetingPosted: February 18th, 2010 01:17 PM ETFrom CNN White House Producer Xuan ThaiWashington (CNN) - The Dalai Lama and President Obama have come to agreement on at least one issue: more women should occupy leadership positions.Following a meeting with President Obama, His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama spoke with the White

Conservative Political Action Conference Today (oh joy)

2010-02-18T09:26:00.000-08:00

Seriously W. dude, I can't get you out of my mind . . . (draws heart)Oh my (note to self: must clean lie-scum off of tv screen with WINDEX after this is over). Live-blogging CPAC on Cspan today. Where does one begin with the con-artists who are running this show? Let's start with the blaring Country and Western music played between speeches given by Stephen Baldwin, Jim DeMint, Tucker Carlson,

WE ARE THE WORLD 25

2010-02-13T14:22:00.000-08:00

Will you be there?Thank you, Michael.Down and out and there seems no hope at all . . .We all need someone to lean on.Let'sstartgiving . . .Or.We can just leave it all to suffer all on its very own ashes, ashes we all fall down. (A pullya up bootstrap kinda left back in the dust - i GOT MINE - attitude.)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glny4jSciVI&feature=featured

THE POPE wants black women barefoot and pregnant. WHO KNEW?

2010-02-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

I am talking about the right-wing, pro-"silly-season" movement in Atlanta, Georgia who have posted billboards reading, "Black Children Are An Endangered Species." As if they care!Givemeabreak -- stopthelying.org!Why didn't they opt for a billboard about women's healthcare? Promoting the use of condoms? No. Too much responsibility. Number one? Pope don't wanna wear a condom, damnit. Number two?

Johnny Depp is Conspiracy Nut?

2010-02-04T06:33:00.000-08:00

Depp believes there is more to the case of the Roman Polanski than meets the eye. He asks: (Drum roll please.) "Why now? Obviously there is something going on somewhere. Somebody has made a deal with someone. Maybe there was a little money involved, but why now? Roman is not a predator, he is 75 years old. He is not out on the streets."~~~~~translation~~~~~ Now all we need is the Pope's thoughts

I'm not homa-sexchal I just work here

2010-01-13T09:06:00.000-08:00

Hands in Pockets, Matron-mom gives "do-better" lesson to gone-bad girls.(Meanwhile. "Girls gone bad" admire Matron-mom uniform.)Neat<>~~~~~translation~~~~~PRESENTING!Matron-mom in: "Ain't mis-Behavin"Act One!1. Matron-mom demands front seat viewing of strip searches for rogue-ish girl, bad-smooth criminal.2. Matron-mom immediately pounces up and down while male guards berate rogue criminal girl,

Sandra Guzman

2009-11-16T06:11:00.000-08:00

GuZman gets back. I hope she takes them ALL down. I've taken down a few myself, girlfriend. It's really fun to hit them in THEIR pocketbook. Justice is so funny that way.(from Huff Post). . . As part of the 38 page complaint, Guzman paints the Post newsroom as a male-dominated frat house and Allan in particular as sexist, offensive and domineering. Guzman alleges that she and others were

Nancy Drew Clues

2009-11-15T09:24:00.000-08:00

How long will it take for Nancy Drew to "conform" to today's cynicistic truth of the abject female? Never, I think.Instead Nancy Drew unveils a new wave -- a trending going for "peculiarity" rather than parlor gamed cliche-diddy.What is more, is the peculiar reactions I HAVE SEEN to the "Drew":Man, as well as woman show anger at the "Drew" -- wanting to scratch her face off, saying she has the

Jabba the Hut & Co. Speaks

2009-10-08T13:28:00.000-07:00

Jerky-boy message to followers: Dekwa tapwa pewa ayn randswa felizwa bishwa. We-wa was-beens fighting to be wa-wa again.Meanwhile:War and ignorance travels on unimpeded.

WHO Wears Short-Shorts???

2009-09-02T16:20:00.000-07:00

Michelle Obama Gets Schooled on Shorts (oh please)http://www.chicagoreader.com/TheBlog/archives/2009/08/31/michelle-obama-gets-schooled-on-shortsHere's a few tips from Isabella. She knows. Ignore all others Mrs. First Lady of mine.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga26YYPDBxg

Jaycee Dugard's Female Heroes Prove Sotomayor Right

2009-09-01T13:12:00.000-07:00

http://www.beyondchron.org/articles/Jaycee_Dugard_s_Female_Heroes_Prove_Sotomayor_right_7303.htmlTranslation To All Of The Blind Idiots Out There:Stop Enabling Rapists. Give Them Life Sentences With No Parole.

This Post-"Double U" World And The Real Boogie-Men

2009-08-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Finally.We have the opportunity to focus on some real terrorists. Yes'm."LEEEZA" making deals? with terrorists?Libya's Kadafi now THINKS he can come to the United States and pitch his little tent in New Jersey of all places. Humm. Whatever, or whoever could have ever given Kadafi the idea he had "freedoms" in these here UNITED STATEs?? Le bougeois Bush, or his poodle, Blair? For the love of Leeza

Liberal Lion Gone But Not Forgotten

2009-08-25T23:30:00.000-07:00

. . . a "serious" statesman, advocate, politician~~~~~translation~~~~~In this age of cynicism, mockery, parody, disrespect, and just plain apathy, there dies a person who worked hard everyday for the more practical concerns of the average human's life: That was Ted Kennedy. ~ eggheadWe loved Ted Kennedy. ~ President ObamaAnd. Condolences to Splash.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Senator_and_Me:_

On Today's Show: Smackdowns with Barney Frank! - Part One

2009-08-20T14:20:00.000-07:00

Laugh out loud, my good man. Way to go. 'Bout time SOMEBODY talked back, yakety-yak."Ma'am? trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to have a conversation with the dinner table." ~ Barney Frank~~~~~~translation~~~~~~http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112017748

Let's Talk About Bushcare Baby!!

2009-08-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

We have had taxes raised on us for the last 8 years. ~ Randi RhodesTranslation? Time to talk about how all Bush Family (and their goombas) has always raised taxes and forced unfunded mandates on the people. 'Member when Poppy said, "no NEW taxes", and he pushed his lips together? Eww? (Averted my eyes then, as I avert my precious eyesight now.)Um, Democrats pay as they go. They are sensible.Let's

Take Out the Trash Mr. President

2009-07-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever made you feel like trash? I've felt that feeling. It is so alienating and humiliating. Especially coming from a friend or a loved one.I hate to say this, but it is time the President took out the real trash. Not the weak who are on their last legs, fighting for every bit of humanity they may have left, but the fat pigs who have fed off the weak as recently as, oh let's say,

Stop. Don't Laugh. Al Franken is Senator. Stop. And he is sober, serious, stalwart. Stop.

2009-07-08T08:58:00.001-07:00

Franken, Without the Quips, Takes On New RoleBy MARK LEIBOVICHPublished: July 6, 2009. . . I’m ready to get to work, thank you,” Mr. Franken said in a sober monotone on Monday after posing for photographs with Senator Harry Reid, the majority leader. That was about as much of a knee-slapper as Mr. Franken told, at least in public.“Oh yes, we laughed,” Mr. Reid said in a brief interview after a 20

Part Trois of Susan Boyle Lessons (for life): Oh Cry Me A River Fucking Republican!

2009-06-24T13:20:00.000-07:00

Was dumpster-diving into the net today for some much needed groove on the "ins and outs" of translations. Here is a doozy:According to an email i received [Read more about this somewhat false mistranslation at Hungary for Madonna9]:Madonna was in Budapest filming some scenes from the movie "Evita" and the Budapest newspaper "Blikk" interviewed her. The questions were posed in Hungarian, then

Kitty Crack at the Catty Shack of Love . . . Susan Boyle Love, Part Deux

2009-05-18T18:22:00.000-07:00

Kitties Know . . .George Bush got memos from Rumsfeld that used Scripture to push Iraq warBY Helen Kennedy DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERUpdated Monday, May 18th 2009, 7:31 AM Former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld sent President George Bush top secret wartime memos with cover sheets that mixed Scripture and battle photos to cast the Iraq invasion as a holy Christian crusade.Rumsfeld, not a man who

HEADLINE: "Love" Made A Comeback Today

2009-04-16T19:04:00.000-07:00

Why Susan Boyle Makes Us Cry. . . What are we all crying about? What is it about this woman that touches us so deeply?Partly, I think it's the age thing, the fact that a woman closing in on 50 had the courage to compete with the kids -- and blew them out of the water. "Women of a certain age" should be forgiven for finding vicarious satisfaction in Susan's victory. In plain words, it's an

Twisted W., Part Deux

2009-03-24T15:30:00.000-07:00

Toxic R UsIt’s an image that could have come straight out of a McCain campaign ad: Barack Obama growing organic arugula at the White House.But there was Michelle on Friday, the first day of spring, with a bunch of fifth graders, digging a veggie garden on the South Lawn.She told The Times there would not be beets, because her husband doesn’t like them, but there would be arugula. And she promised

The Twisted W

2009-03-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

George W. Bush to write memoir about 'decisions'[This is all showbiz, yeah, writing about his mistakes? Come on. But this kind of showbiz is treasonous: Twisted W: more than lies.]". . . Bush is working with research assistants and a former White House speechwriter, Chris Michel.Once known for his reluctance to acknowledge mistakes, Bush said the book would include self-criticism, "Absolutely,

The Very Picture Of Constipation

2009-03-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

Prospect Park South used to be home to Israel Matz, founder of the Ex Lax company. He started the company in 1906 at 423-443 Atlantic Avenue. The product was produced there until the 1970’s. The building has since been converted to condo’s and Israel’s home is being converted into a community garden. see Forgotten FlatbushWhen ex-lax began selling the same year the FDA’s predecessor agency, the

Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T11:34:00.000-08:00

Una and the Lion~~~~~~~~translation~~~~~~~~http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faerie_Queene~~~~~~~~translate that again?~~~~~~~~http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlYlru8cLEc&NR=1

Obama Engine That Could

2009-01-18T20:00:00.000-08:00

. . . One finds little to distinguish this week’s highest-grossing picture from that month’s highest-grossing candidate.The television host convinced that Iran will somehow succeed in launching World War III, the Christian firm in his belief that Jesus wants him to be rich, the president who sees into the soul of a Russian dictator, the public-radio essayist who just loves ketchup, the vice